You just made me feel so damn special
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
