fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
