dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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