Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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