capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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