I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Ladies don't puke and tell
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
