yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize
