He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
