3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
