she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
