I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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