There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
