And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
