Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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