Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
