first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
