Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Redeem this text for a blowjob
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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