fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
