So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
