i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
