and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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