It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Randomize
