Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
You had me at "let me see your balls"
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
