Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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