Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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