i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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