I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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