beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
3pm strippers are depressing
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
