He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
