dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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