I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
