I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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