don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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