I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
