i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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