why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
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