I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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