I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I will pee on everything he values.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
