Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
