It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
