I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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