Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize