He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
