I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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