your thong is hanging out like whoa
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
