They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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