I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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