i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
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