When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
