I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize