haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
someone owes me an orgasm
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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