i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
