You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
