You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Randomize
