I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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