I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
