She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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