I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
