Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
