Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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