hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize