after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
