My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
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